Repetition
by OnTheOutsideLookingIn
Summary: Nathan, Haley, Lucas, and Peyton were four best friends as different as night and day with an unbreakable bond... unbreakable, that is, until the lies and deceit of the past began to unravel all around them...
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **No, I don't own OTH or any of the characters or plotlines that I choose to use, and sadly, I don't own Hilarie Burton's talent or James Lafferty, either…

**Summary:** When everything else failed, Haley, Peyton, and brothers Nathan and Lucas were always there for each other. They were four best friends, as different as light and day, the sun and the moon, but they were so strong that nothing could rip them apart… until history repeated itself and a tangle of secrets and deceit gave them a brutal awakening.

**A/N:** I'm trying to keep a balance between Leyton/Naley romance (since it _is_ the main part of this story), Paley/Lathan friendship (since it gives more important character development) and Laley/Pathan friendship (since they're both so much gosh darn fun, and after all, they are ALL best friends). Most times, you'll get a lot of interaction between one particular couple in a chapter and a POV of one character in the other couple in a chapter. I try to spread out the time that they all spend together equally, too. Also, I'll be having every character do a voiceover-type thing at the end of every chapter.

**Chapter One: Memory in the Making**

The sight wasn't unusual, but that fact didn't ease Karen's frown any. The single mother sighed in exasperation, striding toward the group of four.

"Guys, I've told you time and again that you can't arm wrestle in the middle of the café. Especially," she stopped to motion, "when you start spilling drinks." Lucas and Nathan, immediately feeling guilty, looked down and shuffled their feet like two-year-olds, while Peyton's eyes widened with suppressed amusement and Haley smirked visibly.

"While I'd love to wave a magic wand over it, I'd really rather you guys just clean up the café and close it tonight. It'll teach you a lesson or two," she finished, winking at them with sparkling eyes. Lucas looked down, and Nathan groaned loudly.

"Man, your mom is rough. This is the third time this week."

"Well, Nathan, this is also the third time this week that you guys have been reckless enough to break dishes," Haley pointed out, raising her eyebrows.

"Oh, excuse me Miss James. You see, I've been under the impression that breaking dishes is breaking dishes, even when you're clumsy enough to do it by accident." Peyton and Lucas laughed, walking towards the kitchen.

"When are those two crazy kids going to wake up and realize that they're in love?" he asked her absentmindedly, turning on the water full force.

"If they're lucky, they'll realize it before some random cheerleader brings it to their attention."

"Come on, Nathan with a cheerleader? Yeah, the guy's ego is the size of Texas, and yeah, he's the star basketball player, but he'd never go for one of those fakes." He handed her the first pan, which she dried and put away quickly as they settled into their old, familiar pattern.

"Lucas, I love Nate to death, but let's be frank; the guy couldn't care less about whether or not a girl is genuine, just whether or not she's loose enough to put it out."

"Peyt, don't do that…" he drifted off, handing her a plate. She turned to him, a tired look on her face.

"What exactly is it that I'm doing again?"

"You're being cynical. Yes, I know, there's good reason to be; but don't you ever miss out on looking for the best in people?"

"No, not really. I mean, if they really did have enough "best" in them for it to be worth it, I wouldn't have to look for it so hard," she replied, staring at him with a stony expression.

"Peyton Sawyer, not everyone is blessed with a laugh that carries across a room and a smile that makes men swoon." Raising his eyebrows, he sent her one of their silent, wordless communications. Instead of allowing the moment to grow serious, Peyton tossed her head, her golden curls flying.

"Luke, I'm insulted that you forgot to mention all the lesbians in the world. I still think that you're just jealous that Anna liked me more than you."

"Okay, Peyton, that was freshman year, I was naïve enough to not see the signs, and you guys just sat by and let it play out," he groused, passing her a handful of silverware.

"Actually, if my memory serves me, which it always _does_, Haley said she was a lesbian right off the bat."

"Yeah, well, Hales is crazy…"

"I _heard_ that Lucas Scott!" Lucas jumped back, the pan that he'd been working on crashing to the floor. Nathan smirked as Lucas was served a punch on the shoulder from Haley.

"Nice! Not only can Peyton attract women more quickly than you, Haley can pummel you at a second's notice and you cower like a scared puppy."

"Well, Nate, as long as we're talking about dogs… didn't someone mention your name?" Haley took Peyton by the arm and the two of them went out to the front and started wiping off counters, leaving Nathan and Lucas to their insults.

"Can you believe that Nathan and I didn't even get the counter finished?"

"What, were you two getting busy?" Peyton questioned suggestively, lifting her eyebrows up and curling the corners of her mouth.

"Now I know that I didn't just hear the former Tree Hill Raven's cheer captain slash ex-girlfriend of Nathan Scott accuse me of stooping that low, did I?"

"Hey, that was in middle school! I was young then. I didn't realize what an ass Natey boy could be, and before I knew it he had me doing freaking somersaults at all of his games. Besides, if you ever did want to date a guy… Nathan's not the worst that you could do, ya know?" Peyton paused to look at Haley, her gaze too piercing for comfort.

"Yeah… I know." She looked down for a moment, seemingly fascinated with her fingernails. Suddenly, she brightened and looked up. "Of course, the day that Nathan and I go out is the day that you and Lucas finally admit that you're carrying torches for each other."

"Hmm, Lucas is carrying a torch for me? Dear, I do believe that you're privy to secret information. It's a shame that you were the only person that was let in on the secret… our dear boy has no idea."

"What, it make sense, doesn't it? He writes, you draw, he's sarcastic, you're witty… the list goes on." Peyton looked down, unable to meet Haley's open gaze, so completely honest and direct.

"Yeah, well, like you said: the day that you go out with Nathan, right?" Peyton gave her a half-smile, and Haley nodded, the two of them getting back to work.

Meanwhile, Nathan and Lucas put away all of the dishes in the kitchen, cleaning off counter spaces while they went.

"So, you kind of want to get into Sawyer's pants, huh?" Shooting Nathan a disgusted look, Lucas turned around.

"Well, apparently Nathan Scott has found a low farther down that anyone would've thought possible! Let's go call CNN so that they can get coverage."

"Oh, come on. It's obvious in the way that you look at her, the way that you two talk. You just have that rhythm that you ease into whenever you're together, where you're like an old married couple or something. Of course, we're only sixteen, she looks nothing like an old lady, and your head isn't the only part of you doing your thinking, huh?"

"You know, Nathan, you're one to talk. How about we chat about you and Haley for awhile, hmm? If we're on the topic of looks, how about we mention those times when you two just stare at each other after a good long argument like you're about to jump on each other? Or maybe we should mention those times when you guys just hold each others' gazes for hours on end, talking like no tomorrow."

"Lucas, you really should be a writer after all. It appears that in all of your delusions, you've somehow written a romance that has no basis on reality. Good for you!" Nathan smirked, turning around and shelving a couple boxes.

"Eventually you're going to have to face up to it. Do you really think that she's just going to be here forever? It's not like she's waiting for you, so you had better go for it while you have the chance." Lucas tried to make eye contact, tried to search Nathan for something, but his brother's cold, hard exterior made it impossible to find anything. After a moment of tense silence, Nathan tilted his head to the side, examining Lucas with a sardonic smile.

"Well, big brother, monkey see, monkey do, right?"

"Okay, you two slackers, Peyton and I are done, so we're going to head out and crash at her house. You guys can join us when you're done… if you're not too tired by then," Haley yelled from the front, breaking the moment.

"Just wait, Haley James. You'll regret the day that you called the Scott brothers Slackers!" Nathan shouted back, smiling slightly.

"Sure, Nathan; whatever you say," Haley called back, and before he had the chance to reply, the bell at the top of the door jingled, signaling that they were already gone.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Within twenty minutes, the guys had gotten to Peyton's house, and the four of them sat down; Nathan and Peyton on the couch, Lucas in the arm chair, and Haley on the floor in front of the coffee table.

"So what are we going to do this summer, guys?" Haley asked, and everyone started laughing.

"Hales, it's only late fall. You know, most of us aren't even worrying about midterms yet," Nathan commented, earning him a whack from Haley.

"Maybe so, but this is the first year that all of us are going to be able to drive, which means that we have more options sleep away camp or staying here and rotting all summer."

"Hey, I rather enjoyed rotting last summer," Peyton whined, pretending to pout.

"Yeah, that's 'cause you're a freak, Peyton," Nathan reasoned, and he barely dodged her slap.

"Man, you're just getting it tonight, aren't you bro?" Lucas asked, a superior look on his face.

"Don't think that you're above a little tough love, Lucas," Haley interjected, sending him a threatening look.

"Don't you just love it when she gets that hawkish gleam in her eye?" Within a moment, the entire bowl of popcorn had been dumped over Nathan's head.

"Ouch, Haley, you're playing the part of the jealous ex over there," Lucas laughed, and within a moment, he was covered in salsa. "I… I… I can't believe you did that, Peyt."

"Well, everyone else was throwing food, so I thought that I'd join in," she explained with a grin, and within moments they were throwing as much food as Nathan and Haley. When all of their options were finally exhausted, the laid stretched out on the floor, side by side, trying to catch their breath.

"Guys, aren't we about three years too old for this?" Lucas asked, looking up at the ceiling.

Peyton turned toward him and shook her head. "We've got to try to fight the pull of time, Luke; if we don't we'll all have sagging skin and dull conversational skills by the time we're in our forties."

"Sagging skin, huh? Well, I think that I can make your skin sag a little," he challenged, stretching out the skin on her elbow.

"Luke, that's disgusting. Just stop it already!" The two of them talked for awhile longer, not noticing Haley and Nathan's voices fading out. Giggling softly, Peyton flipped to the opposite side and stopped suddenly, dropping her voice to a whisper. "Luke, c'mere."

Sitting up, he turned and saw Nathan and Haley, both asleep, her head resting on his chest. "Oh wow."

"Yeah. Should we leave them like that?"

"Well, Haley will probably kill Nathan in the morning…"

"… and he'll smirk to beat the band and make some comment about how he always knew she would come around…" Making eye contact, they smiled and stood up and made their way towards the kitchen.

"So how has your art been lately, Peyton?"

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

**Breathing in softly, he let out a sigh of relief as soon as Lucas and Peyton were gone. It was an awkward situation, one that he would've thought that he would find amusing if he'd been asked. It was always fun to set Haley off on a rant… not that she really needed much help.**

**As he dared to glance down at her now, though, he fought off the urge to touch her hair, to rest his head against hers. Trying to shake off the feeling, he let his thoughts drift back to the first time that he'd seen Haley, really seen her. **

**Lucas and Nathan had always been close; Dan had died when they were five and Deb had moved back to Tree Hill. Their moms actually ran the Café together, and they'd grown up viewing each other not just as brothers but as friends. At school, though, they had both had their own crowd; well, Nathan had had a crowd, and Lucas had Haley. Every once in awhile Haley and Nathan would run into each other when one was leaving Lucas's house and the other was entering, but they'd never really make eye contact, never talk to each other in more than one-syllable greetings and goodbyes. **

**One day in the middle of eighth grade during, Nathan had come over to talk to Lucas about something; he couldn't quite remember what it was looking back. Lucas had been at the library, finishing up a report, but Haley had been there, and without really meaning to, they'd started a conversation. He only noticed small details: how her hair, a shade of brown that he couldn't quite name, had small blond streaks in it; how here eyes were such a warm, dark brown; how for a moment, he could've sworn that he'd seen her smile. Of course, he'd been indifferent, and she'd had a mouth on her even then, so after a couple minutes, he'd sauntered away with a smirk at her irritated face. He would never have admitted that he felt like he'd been hit by a truck.**

**By that time, he and Peyton had broken up, but occasionally he'd see her talking to Haley, and since he and Peyton had ended on fairly good terms (can you really end on much else when dating is all about popularity? he wondered), he asked about her sometimes. After awhile, Haley stopped leaving when he came over to Lucas's, and he got to know her. She was different than anyone else that he'd ever known… and he liked it. They settled into a routine banter, and by their second conversation's ending, the momentary infatuation that he'd had with her had passed away. Until now, that was. **

**He pondered in his mind what the best thing to do about it was. It was obvious that she'd never even thought of him that way, and Nathan Scott wasn't one who took rejection very well. Lucas and Peyton would never let him hear the end of it if he asked her out, and he wasn't in any hurry to estrange himself from the three people who had become the most important part of his life over the last four years. It was obvious of course; the only sensible course of action was to pretend like nothing had ever happened, that it really was just an amusing circumstance that she'd fallen asleep and he'd been there to catch her head. Sighing, he closed his eyes and tried to get to sleep, although he already knew that he wouldn't find any rest there tonight.**

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Here we are: two plain cheese microwaveable pizzas and toppings galore," Peyton said, bringing all the food to the counter.

"Ah… it's been awhile since I've had a Sawyer pizza."

"A "Sawyer pizza"?" she asked, quirking her brow.

"Yeah, you know: one of those bizarre creations that you pass off as a pizza. I know that you and your dad always used to make them…" seeing her expression, he drifted off. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to remind you of anything."

"No, Luke, it wasn't that; it's just, um, I didn't realize that you'd remembered that."

"Hey, how could I forget anything that you say? It's too awesome to hear you when you stop putting up a front to let what you say just slip away."

"Luke, don't do that…" They shared another glance, charged with things that they couldn't find the words for, and she broke it, looking down.

"I'll try not to," he said, and she nodded her thanks.

"Well, what do you want on your pizza? We've got strawberries, we've got shrimp, and we've even got some ancient KFC if you're feeling brave," she offered, lining up the choices.

"Only a twisted mind could suggest something like that with the intention of _eating_ it," he shuddered, and she gave him a wink, picking up the shrimp.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Oh! I think she's waking up," Peyton whispered, leaning into Lucas.

"No, that's just her snoring pattern. I've known the girl since she was twelve, and that's just snoring." They waited a few more minutes, and all of a sudden, Lucas gave a hoarse, excited whisper. "She's up! She's up! She's up!" Haley's head rose, and she yawned silently, letting her head sink down, down, down… BAM!

"OWWWW! What the heck, Hales? That HURT!" Nathan yelled, springing up as quickly as she had, holding his kicked hip.

"I suppose that you find it soooo funny that I just _fell asleep_ on you like some sort of _whore_! Well, I'll tell you ONE thing Nathan Scott: this _isn't FUNNY!_" With her voice climbing a decibel with each word she went onwards, losing all traces of sense after awhile, simply screeching at him. Lucas and Haley laughed at the pained look on Nathan's face.

"Here it comes," Peyton said under her breath as Nathan's face transformed almost instantly.

"You know, Hales, most girls would be counting their blessings to wake up to me. Then again, I always have liked feisty ones." He'd made his voice suggestive, his expression falsely seductive.

"Nathan Scott, you have to be the biggest ja… JERK that I have EVER _MET_!" Not able to hold it in anymore, Lucas and Peyton busted out laughing, holding their sides.

"Well, isn't that nice, the two blond angels from all of the Precious Moments cards both find this funny. They're such a sweet pair," Nathan sneered, the superior countenance again plastered on his face.

"Well, it's good to know that you can be a brat to someone besides Haley. I have to say, I was worried there for a second that the two of you might've been flirting," Lucas commented with a smirk.

"What was that, big brother?"

"Okay, break it up, break it up. I'm hungry and in vast need of nourishment, so if I could borrow Lucas and his pancake-making skills for twenty minutes..." Haley pushed Lucas into the kitchen.

"It was so very nice of you to just let me lay there sprawled across Nathan Scott all night. I mean, next to pinning up posters of me at two o'clock in the morning all over school, I can't imagine anything that could've been more generous."

"Well, you know, Haley, I'm always looking out for your best interest."

"Lucas Scott, one of these days I am going to smack you for one of your half-sentimental, half smug comments."

"Haley, you love me too much for that. Besides, who else will make the best pancakes in the world specifically for you?"

"Well…"

"Exactly. Whether you'll admit it or not, you're stuck with me."

"Yeah, I seem to be stuck with you an awful lot… just kidding!" she added when she saw his playful, threatening look. "So… what's the deal with you and blondie?"

"There's a deal? I thought that we were allowed to be friends; you know, kind of like you and Nathan."

"Yeah, except Nathan and I don't sit up all night talking about every topic under the sun."

"Well, maybe you and Nathan need to start talking more. If you spent some time getting to really know him instead of just bantering around, maybe you'd find more than meets the eye."

"Okay, Lucas, your little Cupid act is amusing, but really… Nathan and I? In what lifetime?"

"Maybe in all of your past lives you two have both been too afraid of seeing what might happen to do anything about it, and this is your chance."

"That would be so helpful if either of us believed in reincarnation."

"Yeah, well, if neither of us believe in reincarnation, you'd better get moving… you've only got one lifetime to find the one you wanna be with and share it with."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"So, how was it waking up to the woman of your dreams, Nathan?" Peyton leaned back on the couch, propping her head up with her hand and looking down at him.

"Considering the fact that I woke up to a shooting pain and a screaming shrew, my morning wake-up call wasn't exactly pleasant."

"It really is your own fault. You might've fooled Lucas into thinking that you were asleep, but after we came back into the room, I saw those eyelids twitching. You were trying to look at us without us realizing that you were awake."

"That was only for the first half hour of the conversation. When I realized that it wasn't going to go any further than books and songs and emotional baggage, I nodded off pretty quickly."

"Oh, so you mean subjects with any amount of depth bore you?"

"Depth and depression are two different things, Peyton. You always have confused them, though; why should today be any different?"

"If you would stop running your mouth just for a reaction, maybe _we_ could talk about a deep subject. Namely, you and Haley?"

"Hmm… that subject doesn't qualify as deep. I'm a shallow, restless whore and I'll gladly admit it." He grinned as Peyton threw a throw pillow at him. "Now, you and Lucas on the other hand… I could see it working out."

"Oh come on; don't be silly," she said, giving a fake laugh. "How in the world would the two of us end up together?"

"I'm serious. I mean, ten years from now, you'll be drawing for some magazine and he'll be something boring and useless like a book reviewer or a writer, and the two of you will live in some cute house in a nice neighborhood and raise all of your blond little kids, and you might even have a shot at being remotely happy if you stop insisting on brooding."

"Nathan, your imagination surprises me. You should be the writer, you know."

"Breakfast is served," Lucas said, carrying in a platter of pancakes and setting them on the coffee table, next to the stack of plates and pile of silverware that Haley had just laid down.

"Oh, good job, Haley! You didn't even drop a fork this time!" Nathan said with mock enthusiasm, clapping loudly.

"It's a good thing, too; I need something to gouge your eyeballs out with."

"The only thing I'm interested in forking right now are these pancakes. I have to say, guys, this looks like one of your better batches," Peyton said, eyeing the food hungrily before spearing three pancakes.

"So basically, they're so stupendously delectable that words cannot describe them?" Lucas said, cocking an eyebrow.

"No, what she actually meant was, thanks for only burning everyone else's portions," Nathan corrected, and Peyton and Haley laughed.

As the four of them sat there, Nathan occasionally glanced at Haley, and Lucas and Peyton's eyes found each other once or twice, but for the most part, they laughed, joked, and goofed off, shaking off the moments.

_Peyton: Most of the moments in your life will pass uneventfully, and by the end of the day you will have forgotten that they even occurred. Sometimes, you stumble across a moment that is so significant, so perfect, that you cling to it for as long as you can, and you mull over it, trying to relive it in its absoluteness and seeking another moment of the same kind, until the memory is so dried-up and overused that it fades away, a recollection that you'll only occasionally pull out and smile over. Then, there are the moments when everything is perfect in all of its normalcy, in all of its innocence, and in all of its longing for something else; these are the moments that will haunt you later on in the middle of the darkest nights of fear, when you wish with everything you have that you could just get back to wishing for something else, not realizing how bad something else could be._


	2. We Go Down in Stubborn Silence

**Disclaimer: **No, I don't own OTH or any of the characters or plotlines that I choose to use, and sadly, I don't own Hilarie Burton's talent or James Lafferty, either… I also don't own "Hallelujah" by Jeff Buckley, which I use in this chapter.

**Summary:** When everything else failed, Haley, Peyton, and brothers Nathan and Lucas were always there for each other. They were four best friends, as different as light and day, the sun and the moon, but they were so strong that nothing could rip them apart… until history repeated itself and a tangle of secrets and deceit gave them a brutal awakening.

**A/N: **Yay, reviews! We LIKE those! Because I'm trying to start stretching my chapters out from five pages to ten pages, it might take awhile in between updates, but I'm really going to try to be good about updating this story a lot. Lavy, "Monkey see, monkey do," BASICALLY means in its context here "I will when you will." (I would give you an actual definition, but I'm rather tired). I hope that you guys enjoy this.

**Chapter Two: We Go Down in Stubborn Silence**

_I heard there was a secret chord_

_that David played and it pleased the Lord_

_but you don't really care for music, do you?_

_Well it goes like this, the fourth, the fifth_

_the minor fall and the major lift_

_the baffled king composing hallelujah_

_Hallelujah…_

Haley hummed along with the music, brushing her hair with long, even strokes in front of the mirror. The music had a soothing effect on her, and soon she was singing along with it.

_Well your faith was strong but you needed proof_

_You saw her bathing on the roof_

_Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you_

_She tied you to her kitchen chair_

_She broke your throne and she cut your hair_

_And from your lips she drew the hallelujah_

_Hallelujah…_

Getting up, she began to rifle through her backpack, making sure that she wasn't missing anything. "All right, I have everything that I need for Samantha's tutoring session, and since John cancelled and all we need is Tamara's book for her session, we should be all right…"

_Baby I've been here before_

_I've seen this room and I've walked this floor_

_I used to live alone before I knew you_

_I've seen your flag on the marble arch_

_but love is not a victory march_

_it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah_

_Hallelujah…_

"Are you anywhere near ready, Haley?" Leaning against the frame of her door, Nathan made a handsome figure, complete with a lazy grin covering his face.

"Nathan, I already told you that I didn't need a ride today."

"Oh, come on, what else are you going to do? Walk? The rain is coming down by the bucketful, Hales. Why can't you just accept a ride?"

"While it's amusing that you don't realize that I still haven't entirely forgiven you for Friday evening, I happen to be catching a ride with Peyton."

"Peyton caught a flu bug yesterday. She's home coughing and sneezing. Thankfully, she cares enough about you to have called me up and suggested that I come pick you up."

"Fine, I'll call Lucas up and catch a ride with him." She slung her backpack over her shoulder, about to stride out of the room, when he caught her arm.

"Why are you so bent on turning down a ride from me?"

"Why are you so insistent about me accepting one?" They stared at each other for a moment before he smiled.

"Because whether your stubborn head has realized it yet or not, you need one, and I happen to be more than happy to provide you with one. Plus, it never hurts my ego to win an argument with Haley James." Smirking, she shifted slightly, suddenly aware of how close they were.

"Fine, you win. I'll go with you. I swear, though, if I hear about this later…"

"I wouldn't dream of bringing it up."

_Well there was a time when you let me know_

_what's really going on below_

_but now you never show that to me do you?_

_but remember when I moved in you_

_and the holy dove was moving too_

_and every breath we drew was hallelujah?_

The car was silent with the exception of the rain beating down on the roof. When they stopped at a red light, Nathan was the first one to speak. "So Haley, how have you been?"

"Uh, well, I've been fine the last day and a half." Turning to glance at her, he had a sheepish look on his face as he realized how silly his question sounded.

"You know what I mean. How are you really doing? You look like you have something on your mind."

"Nathan, since when do you care if I have something on my mind?" Seeing his expression, she regretted her words for a moment, and for a moment, she considered apologizing… but the moment passed and she had waited too long.

"Forget it," he muttered, stepping on the gas. "Longer than you know," he whispered inaudibly, frowning for a moment.

_Well, maybe there's a God above_

_but all I've ever learned from love_

_is how to shoot somebody who outdrew you_

_It's not a cry you hear at night_

_It's not somebody who's seen the light_

_It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah_

_Hallelujah…_

When they finally got into the parking lot, Nathan opened up his door, slamming it shut, and came around to open up hers. Surprised, she stepped out slowly, turning to face him. Swallowing quickly, she mustered up some of her courage and dove in. "Look, Nathan, I'm sorry… I don't know what got into me. You just… that question just kind of came out of nowhere, you know? I really didn't mean to insult you." Looking down, he shuffled his feet.

"Yeah, well, I don't know what I was thinking. I just thought that maybe it wouldn't hurt to try to have a conversation about something that mattered." He spit out the last word, glancing away after he said it.

"Nathan…" he looked up at her, and for some reason she lost the nerve to say whatever it was that was about to escape out of her mouth. "Thanks for the ride. I really needed it," she finished, stepping away from him and running through the rain to get inside, leaving him standing there alone.

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Peyton walked up behind Haley, slinging an arm around her shoulder. "Hey, stranger. How was your ride?" Haley whirled around, glaring at the blond beside her.

"You! You aren't sick at all!"

"Well, it's always nice to know that my friends wish that I was sick."

"No, it's just that Nathan said…"

"He didn't! That manipulative little liar… he told me that you asked him to give you a ride, and since I usually give you one he wanted to make sure that I knew that he was picking you up."

"What in the world is his problem? I mean, first that, and then…"

"I take it that the ride didn't exactly go well."

"Well, it's Nathan Scott and Haley James. Why on earth would you expect if to be any different?" Haley spat out, sighing under Peyton's unflinching start. "Let's just say that he tried being sincere and I didn't catch on until it was a little too late."

"Haley, maybe Nathan is doing all this for a reason."

"Peyton, please don't start in on me again. I've already told you; he doesn't like me. It's never going to happen."

"You know, you keep on trying to convince someone of that, but I don't think that it's me you're trying to convince, it's you. Why is it that I've heard you deny his feelings for you a million times but I've never once heard you say that you don't feel anything for him?" Haley stopped, closing her mouth suddenly. Peyton put her arm around her and squeezed her shoulders before letting go. "Hey, it's okay. I can keep a secret, I'm not Lucas. You can't just carry it around by yourself… that type of thing eats away at you." Peyton's eyes gained a far-off quality and she bit her lip. Haley chose her next words carefully.

"As long as we're being straight, will you please tell me the truth? How do you feel about Lucas?"

"Lucas… is an amazing guy." Pausing for a minute, her eyes gained a far-off quality as she smiled faintly. "You know, after my mom, I never really thought that I would be stupid enough to need someone again, but I need him. When he looks at me, he doesn't see what everybody else does, he sees me, and he keeps on coming back even though he knows exactly what I'm like and he sees all of the ugliness and the hurt and the anger. I just… I'm scared to let myself fall in love with him, you know?"

"Maybe," Haley said with a sympathetic expression, "you don't have a choice."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Okay, someone's in a bad mood," Lucas said, catching the third hard, fast ball that Nathan had passed to him.

"Look, I really don't want to talk about it, okay?"

"No, it's not okay, unless you want to pass to Tim for the rest of PE. Telling me whatever it is that's pissing you off doesn't exactly make us a hallmark card, just friends. I can't deal with your little PMS case unless you start talking through some of this. Come on, man, something's eating at you. Just get it out there and stop acting like a freaking girl."

"Whatever. If you're not going to stop bugging me about it… Haley and I kind of had a fight."

Smirking slightly, Lucas gave him a dubious look. "Okay, what's so abnormal about that? You and Haley are always fighting."

"No, it wasn't really that kind of fight. I gave her a ride to school this morning, and I asked her how she was… _really_ was… and she blew me off. Then at school, she started to apologize and say something… but she just ran off." Lucas's face quietly transformed as he became more intent, stopping with the ball.

"Huh. Well, I've known Haley for a long time, and I've seen her run off quite a few times and apologize every once in awhile… but never both at the same time."

"I just don't get why it's so hard for her to take me seriously. I mean, what if I did want to talk with her seriously? We should be able to do that. I _want_ to do that with her. Like… like you and Peyton."

"Nathan, are you finally admitting that you like her?" Nathan shrugged of his brother's intense perception and held out his hands for the ball, walking a few steps backwards before throwing it with even more power.

"Don't be stupid, big brother. This is why we never talk about this stuff."

"Well, maybe we should." There was silence for awhile, then, Nathan spoke up.

"I didn't see your truck in the parking lot this morning. How did you get to school?"

"There's a problem with the engine, so I rode over with Peyton. Actually, I bought a new CD yesterday, and I wanted her to hear it and she ended up _snitching_ it from me… I've got to get that back from her later." With one look at Nathan's smug expression, Lucas's tone became defensive. "What's up with your expression?"

"Hmm, maybe I'm just sick and tired of your hypocritical talk. See, it's not exactly cool to try to corner me into admitting that I like Haley or whatever it is you're doing, and then to turn around and pretend that you don't have a thing for Peyton."

"Why do all of our conversations come back to this?"

"Because I'm sick of your pat answers, man. I mean, if by your standards I like Haley, you're pretty much in love with Peyton."

"Can we just leave her out of this?"

"I'll start leaving her out of this when you stop looking at her like she means the world to you and stop trying so hard to hide how you feel every time that you talk to her."

"I don't do that."

"You do it more than you know."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

**Peyton absentmindedly fingered one of her spirals, tugging on it slightly as she tried to focus on what her chemistry teacher was talking about. They should've been doing a lab today, but with all of the recent inclement weather, the shipping for some of the products that the teacher had ordered had been delayed. Instead of giving them a free study hall period, the teacher had used the opportunity for a review lecture, since apparently no one had grasped the concepts they'd gone over firmly enough. She knew that she needed to focus today or else she would fail the upcoming test. Chemistry had been the last thing on her mind lately. Instead of focusing on school and music and her comic strip for THUD, Lucas had been at the center of all of her thoughts for awhile now. **

**She'd always noticed him. People automatically assume that if you're popular, you view everyone else as the dirt beneath your feet. That hadn't been how it was with her, though. Maybe it was because she was so interested in capturing moments and people and feelings, but she'd always loved observing people. Lucas had always been a sort of muse for her. He was quiet and withdrawn around most people, usually sitting alone and reading or listening to music, but she'd watched him when he was around Haley or Nathan. He seemed to come alive, and for some reason that she couldn't place, even though she'd never spoken a word to him, he seemed like the type of person whose every word would be worth hearing. Even though she was only in eighth grade, she'd already formed the mentality that reaching out to people was stupid and pointless, so instead of ever saying hello, instead of talking to him, she simply drew an endless amount of pictures of him and stayed up at night, turning up the radio and thinking about him.**

**Haley had been her salvation that year, the only thing that had kept her from going crazy. They had bumped into each other once or twice, and after introducing themselves, they started talking. Even though no one would've thought that the class nerd and the sullen, popular cheerleading captain would get along, they did. Haley started inviting her to hang out with her, Nathan, and Lucas, and she did. For some reason, she let herself have fun, let herself laugh, for the first time since her mother's death. **

**One day, after Haley and Nathan had left, Lucas sat down across from her. After a moment of silence, he had asked her about her mom. For some reason, she'd let it all tumble out. She'd told him how her mother had hair the color of sunshine and a smile just as pretty, how they'd been best friends that shared art and jokes and junk food, and how running a red light because of Peyton had killed her. She told him that most nights, she would sit up and try to draw her mother, but the nose was always too big, the eyes were always too round, or the face was always too angular because the image of her mother that had once been seared into her memory was now fuzzy and vague, and she could never seem to get it back. **

**They'd only been in eighth grade, and it would've made perfect sense for him to have shifted awkwardly and changed the subject, but instead he'd let her cry and get it all out. They talked for hours that night, and many other nights that would follow. She learned that he had a sense of humor, that they liked the same music. She had fallen in love with him, but she was only thirteen. She wasn't thirteen anymore, though, and her heart still raced every time that she saw him. Maybe Haley was right, and she didn't have any choice in this. A tear dripped down her face as she looked at the picture of the two of them she'd drawn, sitting in her kitchen, and she wondered what on earth she was going to do when he realized how she felt.**

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Are you all right, Peyt?" Lucas asked, sitting down across from her at the lunch table.

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine. I was just bored out of my skull last period by chem. I think that it's safe to say that I'm not exactly Mr. Kyle's favorite student."

"Ah, c'mon, who wouldn't love to have you in their class?"

With a fake and brittle smile, she responded. "Yeah, who? Just because I never pay attention and I'm always writing on desks and brooding in the back doesn't mean that any teacher wouldn't be lucky to have me."

"Okay, can someone please explain to me why the meat in this stroganoff is grey?" Haley asked, sitting down next to Peyton.

"If you weren't so concerned with healthy choices, you would've just gotten french fries and a soda like me," Peyton commented, smiling.

"Well, Peyton, when you're forty and suffering a severe heart attack, Haley can operate on you and save your life," Nathan reasoned, dropping his tray next to Lucas's. After he got settled in, he looked at Haley awkwardly for a moment before digging into his food.

"Can you imagine Haley as a doctor? She'd be way too cruel to her patients," Lucas said, earning him a kick from Haley before she took command of the conversation.

"Okay, guys, to completely switch the subject, we should start thinking about what we're going to do before and after homecoming this year."

"What's wrong with coming in a group like we did last year?"

"Nothing, but this year we can all drive, and plus, we need to decide what to do for our pictures… we don't want another incident like last year."

"It wasn't that bad," Nathan said defensively.

"Okay, you cussed the guy out because he wouldn't let the four of us go together. It was bad."

"Oh hey, that's right. What was it you told him to do? To go behind a tree and –"

"Peyton, there are innocent ears at this lunch table," Haley interrupted, faking a shiver.

"Oh, really? I never would've guessed, Hales," Nathan smirked, and for a moment something unidentifiable flashed in her eyes before she settled back into their worn-in routine.

"You know, Nathan, not everything that can crawl has had sex; although, I wouldn't be surprised if most of your ex-girlfriends just barely qualify for that category."

"Well, I wouldn't suppose that you would know that much about guys and girls, seeing as you're so "innocent" and all," he retorted, using air quotes.

"Don't surprise innocent for simple, Nathan. Oh wait! It makes sense for you to make that mistake, seeing as you're so simple yourself." Lucas and Peyton, who had previously been observing the banter, started a conversation of their own.

"As stealthy as you might believe yourself to be, Miss Sawyer, I'm still expecting my CD back by the end of the day." She looked down, her smile unnatural and forced.

"Oh, don't worry. You'll have it back. It hardly lived up to my expectations anyway."

"Peyt? What's wrong?" She looked up, raising her eyebrows.

"What would make you think that something's wrong?"

"Can we just skip through the next twenty minutes where you keep on denying and I pry more than I have a right to and get to the part where you tell me what's going on?"

"You know, there isn't always something wrong with me, Lucas. You don't always have to rescue me from every single situation. I can take care of myself."

"I never said that you couldn't as I recall." He looked almost hurt, and she regretted her words for a moment.

"Look, I'm just sick and tired of us being all Dawson and Joey. We all remember how that ended." Standing up, she took Nathan by the arm. "Nate, weren't you just saying that you left something in the art room? I'll go get it with you." Before Haley or Lucas had a chance to say anything, a confused Nathan had been dragged away.

"So should we talk about you and Peyton first?" Haley offered, raking one of her hands through her hair.

"Well, we could always go the route of you and Nathan, seeing as I already have his side of things." Giving him a worn out look, Haley finished chewing a bite of her food before swallowing and voicing her retort.

"Well if you know what Nathan said than why on earth would you listen to me? I mean, you're brothers, right man? You're blood."

"You know how much we hate it when you and Peyton pull the blood card on us and make us feel guilty about sharing the same filthy sperm donor."

"Okay, look, since you're obviously avoiding the issue at hand, I'll spell it out for you: you're clueless. I don't know what you think is going on, but that girl is going to go insane if you two don't talk about this."

"What is there a need to talk about? I've been head over heels for her since kindergarten when she was the only girl who would say hi to me and I was so shy. That was the one and only time in the last eleven years that she's ever reached out to me, and no, I'm not going to do that whole "do we like each other?" routine with her, because heaven help me, she means more to me than that! And you and Nathan needling me about it isn't going to change anything!"

"Oh, ho, ho, Lucas Scott has made up his mind! He's decided how it's going to be: he's going to love her from a distance and pretend that all of this stuff that's been beneath the surface and that's pulling us all apart isn't going to enter into the equation! For all of her psychological and emotional issues, at least Peyton _recognizes_ that she's shutting people and feelings out! What is going on with you, Lucas? Why can't you talk to me about this?"

"Why can't you talk to me about you and Nathan?" Startled, Haley looked down.

"Yeah, that's exactly it. You can dish it out, but you sure can't take it, Haley James. I'm going to be in the library; if Nathan and Peyton want to get together and do something with us later, just text message me." He got up and pushed his chair in, walking away quickly.

"Good job, Haley," she muttered, "you've managed to alienate everyone in the course of twelve hours."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Ow, ow, ow, Peyton, you're _hurting_ me!" Nathan winced as he tried to keep from looking like a doll as he stumbled along beside his friend.

"You're a jock, remember? You're not going to fall apart at a moment's notice. Just stop whining." She pulled him into the janitor's closet and shut the door before turning to face him.

"Okay, Peyton, yes, you're hot and irresistible and I value your friendship, but I just don't have those feelings for you. I think that our relationship's better like is now," he whined in a high-pitched voice, grinning as she punched him.

"Nathan, can you just try to be serious right now? I need a game plan."

"A game plan?" He repeated, raising his eyebrows. Putting a hand in her hair, she was a frantic sight.

"Yeah, you know, I need a written-up speech for me and Lucas when I see him again. Some way to say I'm sorry while completely avoiding the issue."

"Oh, you mean to say there's an actual issue that you're admitting to?" When her face came dangerously close to crumpling, he reaching out to pat her shoulder awkwardly. "I'm sorry, P., I'm just not good at all of this emotional stuff. I mean, that's what you have Haley for. I don't know what to say to make you feel better."

"I know. I'm sorry for dragging you into this," she sniffled, bringing an arm up to her mouth."

"You know… I'll bet that if you just tried to avoid the issue at hand, Lucas would be okay with it. The guy doesn't have a single bone in his back when it comes to you." Instead of making a sarcastic comment or shrugging him off, Peyton swiped under her eyes and nodded quickly.

"Okay. Yeah, maybe that'll work. It's the only thing I've got, so I guess it's worth a try."

"Of course it's worth a try; I did suggest it." Giving him a skeptical look, she opened the door and they started making their way down the hall.

"I thought that you said that you're not good with this emotional stuff. I mean, jocks have the brawn, not the brains or the heart. Isn't that right, Nate?"

"Okay, I'll have you know that I am more than just a shallow jock… I'm a _pretty_ shallow jock." Giving out a laugh that was more a guffaw than anything, she rolled her eyes.

"Well, whatever you need to keep on telling yourself, I guess. Just remember, in twenty years, you'll be a bad case of botox and cellulite, just crying out for someone besides your cat to love you," she volleyed back, flippantly throwing her curls over her shoulder.

"Hey, what's wrong with my kitty loving me? He happens to be very supportive. He's my dream man, and no guy is every going to take Mr. Fluffy's place." They kept on laughing as they made their way to seventh period, ignoring everything but the unimportant for the moment.


End file.
